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| I can't get my mind out of this idea of friendship that I mentioned in my last post. It's amazing and disgusting how we can take such a good thing and distort it so effectively. I know it's our nature to make something beautiful into something perverse and profane. But if I were a perfect being looking into our planet-wide microcosm, I'd say something like, "Wow. You guys make it look easy. How long have you been spinning words and screwing up the very lives you were blessed with?"
One of my best friends Adam was wondering how far we can take this. How are these facets of God (Lord, King, Friend) mutually exclusive, and how are they integrated? Because of my academic limitations and my mental atrophy from indulging in parenthood, I'm assuming that you'll chime in and help me out here, Adam. I've become somewhat spiritually flabby on the articulation front.. :)
Of course, God assumes Lord and King and Friend when He reveals Himself to us and we accept His gift of salvation. Though He is Lord of all, we have this frustrating and wonderful gift of free will that allows us to give God the worship He deserves: an honest and true devotion of heart, soul, mind, and strength to Him by our choice. These attributes of lordship and friendship are all-inclusive to God; to separate God into a pile of definitions is to lose the essence of who He is; a sovereign and compassionate creator; a lover of all who belong to Him; an awesome and indescribable God; a friend who wants us entwined into His divine will. But because of our stance in the grand scheme of all creation, shouldn't we assume the exclusivity in our lives that God is Lord before Friend? And again, isn't our definition of friend a little different than what we tend to make it? It is something to embrace, but not exploit. We know His will; therefore we love as He loves and minister to a lost and dying world. We ought to look up to Him and say, "We are not worthy. But you make us worthy. Here is me. I am yours. Because you love us enough to give yourself for us." It's so abstract and confusing that it's exciting. Because He is God and our definition of all that is good, He deserves our entirety. Because of His sovereign grace and mercy, He gives us the gift of salvation; a testimony in itself to just how great God is. And God's definition of friendship allows us to understand this idea of salvation to a degree that we can grasp. He calls for holiness and obedience, and we receive grace and mercy.
So now what I see is that these aren't just descriptions of God, but also vessels to further God's glory. Surprise! Everything's working to that, eh? But there is something more to this. God is good. We are not. He has to be our guiding light to remain pure and holy. That's the point. If we are truly guided by His light, would this idea of friendship really be a subject of conversation or debate? Not in the least. I started writing about this because someone I talked to so passively excused God as a friend when the topic of forgiveness came up. Shall we profane the name of God because of our stupid understanding of words? We shouldn't. But it doesn't seem to stop us. Hokey ideas of God making himself stupid like us by sending Jesus start sprouting up. Uneducated and downright offensive notions of God being a divine watchmaker walking away from His creation take root and people fend for themselves instead of caring for each other. As long as I can prosper and feed the greed, right?
What does God do to those who make His name common like a sandwich or apple pie? What happens to those who tack Jesus on to the end of some mediocre 'good work'? He sends a holy fire. He strikes down sin. He speaks His word. He makes His holiness known again. Not selfish wrath as we understand it, but holiness as He demands. The understanding that He is the standard and we ought to reflect that standard makes this understandable. My God is great; those who defame His name don't deserve to even see His face.
Talk to me. What did I miss? What can we discuss? Where do we agree and disagree?
Live Worship
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| Well folks.. I don't know why I keep this thing around anymore. I never use it. But today, I feel like thinking. Meditation is something that escapes me these days.
So many Christians take the spin that we call ourselves friend of God. But in the common context of chums and buddies as the culture understands it, is that even biblical? I was just thinking about the passage in John 15 when Jesus calls His disciples 'friend.' Then he lays out the understanding that a mere servant just does stuff, but a friend knows the intent; a friend not only knows what the task is, but also aligns him or herself up with said friend and agrees wholeheartedly. Jesus lays out the understanding in the beginning of the chapter by equating His followers to branches attached to Him who is the vine. If we are fruitless, we are pruned and tossed into a fire. However, if we remain in Him, our very wishes will be granted, as our very desires coincide with that of the Holy God. Further, Jesus states that He will lay His own life down for His friends, or those who are in cahoots with His will and plan.
So what do we consider a friend these days? Someone we can confide in. Someone who is there for us. Someone who we can count on. I use these as common examples off the top of my head, but look at the perspective of these definitions; it's all about what the 'friend' can do for us, and not the other way around. But shouldn't this also be part of the definition? Someone we can confide in, therefore we delight in serving him. Someone who is there for us, so we serve him gladly. Someone who we can count on, so we go out of our way to make ourselves available to serve him.
Jesus calls His disciples 'friend,' but does that imply that we also call Him friend? Yes, with a resounding BUT... but we also must serve Him gladly to the glory of God. Just because we can delight in being in His will and in His purpose, does that mean we drop the 'servant' roles entirely? Not even Jesus took equality with God as something to boast in. Instead, He followed God's will to the very end. And because He deems us friend, He implies that we already know that His will is to be a servant of all to the glory of God. Hence His fitting end in this passage in verse 17; "This is my command: LOVE EACH OTHER. (niv)"
Is Jesus my buddy? Am I going to ask Him to grab me a beer while He's up from the recliner? No. He's God. We call Him Lord and King before we call Him friend. Because of His position in the grand picture of life, we ought to bow to Him and fall before Him and lay our very own crowns in respect to Him. We should sing songs of praise to Him. It's not to make us feel better. It's to honor Him because He is the only one worthy of our devotion. We are not even worthy of our own devotion. So we sit and become fat on the baby formula of the Holy Spirit in church, hoping that nobody noticed that we're actually adults in spiritual diapers allowing ourselves to be babied. We ask what the church can do for us, rather than what we can do for the church.
I think we often default to Jesus being 'one of the guys' rather than a friend in the context He describes. We mooch from His fridge and take advantage of His recliner rather than looking out to a world that's dying and serving them. A friend knows the master's will. And our Master's will is to grow in Him by glorifying Him and serving others to further His kingdom.
I haven't done this in awhile. My thoughts don't flow together quite like the used to. Perhaps I will revive my old Xanga for the sake of keeping my edge sharp. For those of you who actually keep up with Xanga in the least, give me some feedback. What do you think? Questions? Comments? You know what to do..
Live worship.
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| I am no longer being considered for the position of worship leader at Arbor Christian Fellowship. Thanks for those of you who have prayed for all this time. I talked to the pastor, and the typical "God's leading in another direction" explanation was given to me. It kind of hurt. But not too badly. What hurts now is I'm confused about serving in this church now. What am I supposed to be doing if I am not supposed to lead music? Pastoral ministry has crossed my mind so many times, but I looked away for the simple reason that, although I can speak intellectually, I am nowhere close to being able to articulate as a pastor. But the passion for sound doctrine and strong leadership and servitude have been coursing through my veins for some time now. I told the pastor that I want him to help me become a pastor. His leadership has proven time and again that he is the person I want to emulate as a leader. But what hurts me most is that I feel like I've failed William. How am I supposed to provide for him? I saw him not too long after getting the bad news, and he gave me that smile again, as if to say it's still not about me. But I know that. He has faith in me even though I feel that I've failed him. I guess sometimes faith is all a person has, and babies of all people are satisfied with faith alone. I can't help but to feel that my abilities are not good enough, and that my hands are not strong enough to provide for my family. But what can I do? By the grace of God I am who I am. I have my health. I have my family. I still have my job. And I still serve the Lord. Not so much with gladness at the moment because of my human selfishness, but certainly with faith that I have a good God that will provide in His time. Live worship. | | |
| So I haven't updated this thing in almost forever. Life changes a little bit when you have your own children. Facebook and Myspace are so much easier to keep up with than Xanga. I've neglected my old blog. What can I tell you? William is now two months old, and he's a chubby boy. He started daycare yesterday. That was hard on all of us. He goes late morning/early afternoon until I get off work for the day. Here's a picture of him with grandma and grandpa.
 See how his mouth is wide open? He wants more for chubs. I have completed the final touches on my resume for the position of worship leader at Arbor Christian Fellowship. In case you haven't heard, the last guy flaked out after only three months and I've been covering the position off and on ever since. This month is a little up the creek for fill-ins with all the Christmas specials. But now the church has a search committee put together, and the pastor wants my resume in the current runnings. I could really use this position right now. I love serving where my talents are being used. Plus, I've been in children's ministry and daycare for far too long, and it's starting to wear on me. I still thank God for my job, but I think it's time for a little change. It's getting tedious and painful. However, I will not leave my preschool teacher position, just work less hours. It's a season of rest from children on a fulltime basis, which would be blessing and provision all in one pretty package. That's all I have time for. It's time to get ready for work. Yes, this includes kissing William's chubs on the face and hands before I go to work. Live worship. | | |
| William Ethan Howard was born on Sunday, September 28, 2008 at 4:58pm, weighing in at 5 pounds, 10 ounces, stretching out to be 18.5 inches long. Today, we found out that William has jaundice, and we feel like terrible parents. It's hard to start something for the first time and see things go wrong right off the bat. But we have good community; our friends and family never cease to amaze me with their support and prayers. I know. Jaundice. He'll grow out of it if we just feed the kid and put the billirubin light paddles on him throughout the night. But it's been so hard to watch him be so lethargic and suffering through all the things he has to do with his little body. I spent a great amount of time praying about this. I'm still praying. I want my boy to be strong. He cries and I cringe, and I look at where he's at right now and I feel like a failure. But he still is comforted when I hold him and sing to him and dance with him and talk to him. Even without words, I see his sleepy eyes and know he loves me and Julie so much. I will not fail. My first ministry is my family. And a Christ-centered ministry always realizes that good cannot come from man's hands, but by God's hand. God's grace overshadows my own depravity. And in times like these, I am quite literally undone. Guys, pray for me. Pray for Julie. Pray for William. This is my family. I love us. Live Worship. ps. William cries the way Daffy Duck laughs. It kind of ruins the whole cartoon for me. | | |
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